Film Brain Vomit: Fright Night (2011)

I love bad movies.  Bad horror and bad action, mainly.  I credit this to my father (who, strangely enough, mocks my taste in horrible movies) who enjoyed watching movies with explosions and my brother who used to manage a second-run movie theater and would invite me to the movie nights he had with his friends.  One time, my brother and his friends commandeered a room at the University of Cincinnati and we watched Anaconda and a few others into the wee hours of the morning while munching on pizza.  Watching movies with my brother and his friends was like being in Mystery Science Theater 3000, only with martial arts masters and physics geniuses instead of robots.

Because of these movie nights and my background, I have grown the taste for bad movies, but because I also have film theory behind me, I judge "bad movies" harshly.  To me there are bad movies that are done "right" and then there are bad movies that are done "wrong."

Who knew that there was a certain way to make crap?

Creating a campy movie is a skill.  A skill, that unfortunately, most filmmakers working today DO NOT, under any circumstances, HAVE.  It seems like they try so hard to make something suck so that in 10-15 years, it will "suddenly" become a cult classic... but that is not how it works.  Not even remaking a cult film will create another cult film.

The Fright Night remake is one of these poorly done "bad" films... however, inconsistent.

Thoughts on Peter Vincent

When I first saw the trailer and was reading about the film in a magazine, I was horrified that Peter Vincent was a magician.  I automatically thought, "Oh, great.  He's Criss Angel," (I hate magicians illusionists, but I loathe that guy the most) but was pleasantly surprised that he was not that bad and strangely enough, I liked this Peter Vincent better than the original horror show host.

Peter Vincent is played by David Tennant, who I believe is mainly known for his role in Doctor Who and for being Scottish.  He is rather attractive and probably lessened the blow of how awful the film is.

Thoughts on the film itself
The effects are terrible.  Someone told me that they thought the Fright Night film needed to be updated with current graphics.  I feel like they used technology from 2000... so while the effects were updated, they were not updated quite enough.  The chase scene in the car is the worst part.  It's all obviously green screened and is reminiscent of a ride that used to be at Kings Island.  It was one of those rides where you watch a movie screen and the seats move you according to what is happening.  The one that I am thinking of is a race car (and at one point was also 007, but it could easily be vampires instead).

The digital effects were overused and called attention to themselves.  The design of the vampires when they are about to feed is horrendous.  They look like digital cartoon sharks in a Scooby Doo film commissioned by SyFy.

The film started off remotely entertaining and the nods to the original did not go unnoticed.  The mention of Twilight made me cringe.  Is that really the only "vampire" novel they could come up with that is current?  The line is supposed to be a joke, but it's more vomit-inducing than funny.  After about the 20 minute mark, the film becomes just plain terrible.  I didn't even want to pause the movie so I could go pee because I knew I'd still have to finish it when I came back.

The film picks itself back up when there are about ten minutes left, but by that time my opinion of the entire film had already formed.  I did not go into it expecting much of anything and even though it was a lot better than I expected, I still ended up disappointed.  It's not a fun bad movie, but I'd gladly watch it again over some of the other films I've watched recently.

January 5-8 2012 Movie Recap

January 5
Snow White: A Tale of Terror (1997)

Plot:
A dark, gothic version of Snow White.

This is one of my favorite incarnations of the Grimm fairy tale, probably because it is more closely related to the original story than any other.  Dark fairy tales have a special place in my heart and I cannot get enough of them.  This film is no exception.

January 6
Dream a Little Dream (1989)

Plot:
"Bobby Kellar has a crush on Lainie Diamond, girlfriend of school jerk Joel. Coleman is working on an experiment which will help him move into a place where Dreams are reality. When an accident occurs Coleman finds himself in Bobby's body and can only contact Bobby in his dreams. Part of his wife's mind has also ended up in Lainie. To bring his and his wife's body back to reality, Coleman must agree to fix Bobby's messed up life."- IMDB

I sat here and tried to come up with something great and profound to say about this one, but then I realized that I was probably wasting my time.  That isn't to say that the film is necessarily BAD or not worth a watch as it certainly is interesting and somewhat entertaining, but it wasn't particularly memorable for me.  It's just one of those movies that after you watch it and watch a few more, it's shoved through the cracks in your brain as more movies that offer you a high on sensory overload steal the spotlight... which is kind of sad.

January 7
Mr. Popper's Penguins (2011)

Plot:
Mr. Popper is a workaholic and not a very good family man because of his history with his own father, but then penguins enter his life.

I love Jim Carrey and I have since I was very young... yet every once in awhile, he is in a film that makes me ask, "Why, Jim... Why?"  The awfulness of this film is mostly due to the writing, not because of any acting flaws.  I read the book when I was a kid, and I hardly remember it (except for a lot of alliteration and perhaps a perfectly placed prelection), so I am not one to be able to say how "true" it is, though I do not believe it matters.  I appreciated the CGI penguins even though I typically HATE CGI, but the animal activist in me gives the filmmakers thumbs up for this decision.  Now if only there could have been better writers hired that didn't make the actors say incredibly stupid things randomly...

January 8
Murderball (2005)

Plot:
"A film about paraplegics who play full-contact rugby in Mad Max-style wheelchairs - overcoming unimaginable obstacles to compete in the Paralympic Games in Athens, Greece."- IMDB

I recently read a status message from someone on Facebook that said she didn't like girls who said the word "amazing."  Well, let her hate me because this film and the people in it are AMAZING... and some of them are even amazingly "douchey."  After watching this, I have a new favorite sport.  As is typical of anything you see or read involving the handicapped, they mention that they don't like being treated as if they are fragile.  These athletes are certainly anything but fragile and the film has given me the outlook that even if I have an accident, I shouldn't let it get me down.  I will still be able to do amazing things.

January 1-4 2012 Movie Recap

Because I slacked so much last year on watching movies (at least, I feel like I did), I decided to make it up this year by watching at least one film a day.  I will be doing a re-cap of the movies I watch and will contain a short blurb of what I thought (in addition to any reviews I may have already written in that week... but in this past week, I wrote none).  Depending on how many films I watch in any given week, I might split up the post.  This one will be in two parts.

January 1
Machete (2010)

 

Plot: 

"After being set-up and betrayed by the man who hired him to assassinate a Texas Senator, an ex-Federale launches a brutal rampage of revenge against his former boss."- IMDB

I really enjoyed Machete.  Probably more than any person should, especially since it originally wasn't even supposed to be made (it was one of the fake trailers for Grindhouse).  There is just something about a gritty, violent, and campy film that makes me squeal with joy.  I love Robert Rodriguez and no amount of film schooling can make that change (they tried hard).  It's low-brow, yes, but it's fun to watch.  You might even get a moral or two involving immigrants out of it.

January 2
Wake Wood (2011)

Plot:
"The parents of a girl who was killed by a savage dog are granted the opportunity to spend three days with their deceased daughter."- IMDB

I read an article about this one in Rue Morgue and I thought it sounded interesting.  It's a quaint Irish horror flick that really left no imprint on me... and after a week has gone by, I really can't remember my initial thoughts on it.

January 3
Little Fugitive (1953)

 

Plot:
"Joey, a young boy, runs away to Coney Island after he is tricked into believing he has killed his older brother."-IMDB

What happens when you take a little boy that loves horses and let him run around Coney Island for a day?  Don't let your imagination run too wild or you'll be very, very wrong.  If you have home movies of your own family at an amusement park, you might enjoy that more...  If it was 1953 and I liked kids, my opinion of this might be different.

January 4
Gnomeo and Juliet (2011)

Plot:
Romeo and Juliet with garden gnomes.

Elton John paid for it and he wants you to know it.  It's kind of like Shakespeare vomited Elton John all over Toy Story (with the stomach acid corroding any saving plot dynamics)... and that's really all you need to know.

Movies Viewed 2012

This is the official list of movies viewed in 2012. It will be updated as movies are watched. Not all of these movies will be reviewed, but will be rated on this list with the following symbols (though, I know a symbol can't possibly convey all my feelings for a film-- I just can't write a review for EVERYTHING I watch):
+ (Enjoyed it)
/ (Entertaining, but not thrilled)
- (Did not like it at all)

1.) Machete (2010) +
2.) Wake Wood (2011) /
3.) Little Fugitive (1953) /
4.) Gnomeo and Juliet (2011) -
5.) Snow White: A Tale of Terror (1997) +
6.) Dream a Little Dream (1989) /
7.) Mr. Popper's Penguins (2011) /
8.) Murderball (2005) +
9.) Franklyn (2008) +
10.) Trollhunter (2010) +
11.) Gamer (2009) -
12.) Dot the I +
13.) Don't be Afraid of the Dark +
14.) Fright Night -
15.) Burke and Hare +
16.) Antichrist +
17.)  Witchfinder General +
18.) Fahrenheit 451 +
19.) Dolphin Tale -
20.) Polyester /
21.) SherryBaby /
22.) Frailty /
23.) Dancer in the Dark +
24.) Howl's Moving Castle +
25.) Three and Out /
26.) Spellbinder -
27.) God is Great, I'm not /
28.) Arang +
29.) Eat, Drink Man, Woman /
30.) Merci pour le chocolat +
31.) Treasure of the Sierra Madre +
32.) 7 Zwerge /
33.) Heal Your Self /
34.) Hercules and the Circle of Fire /
35.) Contagion /
36.) Billy Elliot +
37.) Meet Monica Velour /
38.) The Red Balloon +
39.) To Be and To Have /
40.) Last Action Hero +
41.) La Dolce Vita /
42.) 8 Women +
43.) Lord Love a Duck /
44.) Malice in Wonderland /
45.) Adaptation /
46.) The Dark Horse -
47.) Good Dick /
48.) Limitless /
49.) Grease /
50.) The Rum Diary +
51.) A Room With a View /
52.) How Much Do You Love Me? +
53.) Timer /
54.) The Shadow /
55.) ExTerminators +
56.) Contempt +
57.) Parents /
58.) The Last of the Mohicans +
59.) Dazed and Confused /